either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize