But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
