shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
