And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
