so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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