Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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