Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
