thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
nutella sex= disaster
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
