when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
