No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
