Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
