I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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