I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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