apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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