Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Can I color on your dick again?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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