Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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