So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
