Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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