we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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