I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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