...so i touched it.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
