I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
