I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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