Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
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