No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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