On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i don't like sucking hair
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
