i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize