Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm sobbing to NWA
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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