I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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