youre lurking in front of me
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
