you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
