how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
