i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
