Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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