I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
try to milk me bitch
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