and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
