Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
