Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
