You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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