I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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