smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
