i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
