ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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