her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
