So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
