didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
