is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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