We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
