He disabled his match.com account in front of me
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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