so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
