Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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