the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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