go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
