he wants to bone in the snuggie
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
