You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
