Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
