I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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