To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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