My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
